Prayer, Racism, and Whiteness
This past week, a Virginia pastor decided to share screenshots of Dr. Chanequa Walker- Barnes' prayer, "Prayer of a Weary Black Woman." This prayer is included in the book, A Rhythm of Prayer: A Collection of Meditations for Renewal, edited by Sarah Bessey. Both Dr. Walker-Barnes and Bessey have been the subject of targeted harassment and bullying.
The prayer has a line that can be jarring, especially when taken out of context. The prayer begins, "Dear God, please me to hate White people." On the surface, that seems like such a horrible thing to say. But then one begins to read through the prayer. It is a prayer that details the anguish, pain, and betrayal that Black and brown people often experience at the hands of white people. Including "nice," "well-meaning" and progressive white people.
While the prayer begins one way-asking God to help the writer hate white people, it ends differently. Towards the end of the prayer, Dr. Walker-Barnes affirms God's love and provision for her in the face of racism and hatred. She says, "You have not given me up to slavery or to Jim Crow or to the systems of structural oppression, but you have called me to be an agent in your ministry of justice and reconciliation." In fact, the ending of the prayer flips the script. She wants to hate white people and let’s not pretend she wouldn’t be justified in hating white people. But that’s NOT what God called her to do.
Dr. Walker-Barnes’ prayer is reminiscent of the book of Psalms, in that she brings her honest, raw, unsanitized emotions to God in prayer. She doesn’t mince words. She pours out her pain and anguish, knowing that God welcomes it. And the fact that she chooses to share those words publicly is an act of courage in the face of a society that constantly seeks to silence Black and brown women and that criminalizes Black and brown expressions of anger and grief.
We live in a society that demands that Black and brown people show white people compassion and give them applause for doing the bare minimum when it comes to fighting against racial injustice, yet Black and brown people are not allowed to give expression to our full humanity.
When we are angry about the racism we experience on a daily basis we are deemed at best to be “difficult” and at worst to be “threats” that need to be eliminated. Speaking out costs us jobs and scholarships but remaining silent kills us. When we make mistakes, no matter how small-police have the authority to execute us meanwhile they treat white mass shooters and murders with deference and respect.
When white people utter harmful and racist words, defenders are quick to excuse their actions as an example of “mental illness” (I’m not a psychiatrist, but I wasn’t aware racism is a diagnostic tool for mental illness), or as “small” mistake. We hear excuses claiming that, they misspoke. They didn’t mean it. But when Black and brown women, express their pain and anger at white people-well, we are the “racists.” We are the ones with “hate” in our hearts. We are the ones who deserve to be “canceled” and lose our livelihood and jobs.
The backlash that Dr. Chanequa Walker- Barnes and Sarah Bessey are experiencing seems particularly cruel in light of the ongoing trial of Derek Chauvin, the former police officer who murdered George Floyd. One line in a prayer unleashes massive amounts of backlash and harassment, meanwhile law enforcement officers continue to murder black and brown people. Derek Chauvin is facing trial for his murderous actions, but most law enforcement officers do not.
In fact, Derek Chauvin is not some outlier in law enforcement, an exception in an otherwise just and equal institution but rather he is emblematic of the racism and white supremacy inherent in American law enforcement. He is only exceptional in the fact that he is facing charges. Most police officers are able to murder with impunity and it is that fact that should be inspiring white people to recoil in disgust. That fact should be inspiring white people from across the theological and political spectrum to demand an end to racist policing (which would mean an end to policing as we know it, but that’s a topic for a different post).
Dr. Walker-Barnes’ prayer is a beautiful prayer of pain and anguish. White people should read it and instead of reacting in anger and disgust, they should read it, be quiet, and meditate on it.
To read the prayer in full please check out Dr. Walker-Barnes’ blog post: "Prayer of a Weary Black Woman."
