All Will Be Well...

Even If Right Now, It Does Not Feel Like It

Yesterday Jan. 20th was the memorial service for one of my college mentors:  Bishop  Rev. Hopeton Clennon.  I watched via live streaming since I am so far away. While I kept in touch with him in the decade since I graduated, I can’t pretend that we were close. We were not. This past year I kept putting off reaching out saying, “I’m busy” and “I’ll have time.” I waited too long and never did reach out. And that is my fault and my regret. 

But when I did make the effort to reach out, he always responded, he always had an encouraging word, he put up with my heretical and irreverent jokes, and whenever I was struggling and reached out he always sought to provide comfort. Of course, while He was him-joyful, funny, and kind, I was also me-skeptical, sarcastic, and opinionated, so I didn’t always appreciate the advice and comfort he offered, and more than once I would tell him that.

I would say I regret that, but the reality is, that I am me. And for better and often for worse, I say what I mean. And he never made me feel bad for disagreeing or being opinionated. He listened and he engaged with me. I will miss that and in fact, I wish I had spent more time engaging in conversation with him, even if it was disagreeing with him. 

The memorial service was beautiful and befitting of the person I remembered. Obviously, those who were closer to him can speak to that much more eloquently than I can. During the service, it was mentioned that he had picked out the songs and the scripture passages, so while the service was us honoring and saying goodbye to him, it also felt as if he were saying goodbye to us and trying to encourage us to keep moving forward.

 The stories shared by his family and friends were inspiring, funny, and joyful. Just like him.  It was clear listening to the stories, and seeing the packed church and the over 1,000 people joining in online, that so many people’s lives were made better by simply having him in it, even for a brief moment. 

There were three particular moments/phrases that stood out.

1. God’s beloved Son is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

Rev. Janel Rice, during her introductory remarks, read that verse taken from Saturday’s Moravian Daily Text.  That verse truly embodies both Bishop Hopeton’s theology and the truth that we as Christians proclaim, every day, even on days where it feels difficult and untrue: that Jesus holds all things together. 

Let me tell you a little bit about college me. If you think I am opinionated and annoying now, please imagine 18–22-year-old me. I was essentially on a theological rampage during those years. I not only questioned everything, which is quite normal and expected at that stage of life (and honestly should be a part of every stage of life) but I also had no qualms about challenging other people. (I still don’t, but I like to think I am a bit nicer about it today. But I guess that’s only something my friends can confirm or deny).

 So in college, I was definitely a menace, questioning every theological idea and sometimes being quite rude about it. Part of my disagreements with Hopeton, at least back then, was that I thought he was “too conservative” for me.  I was at a stage where I wanted to burn every theological idea down, so honestly, almost everyone who was not me and who identified as a Christian, I chalked up as being too conservative.  So Hopeton put up with my debates and my newfound knowledge from my undergraduate religion classes.  He was pretty patient with me and indulged my theological rants. But one idea he held onto, and one that I eventually came to embrace, is the idea of a God through Jesus who holds everything together. 

Hopeton embodied that theology when I was in college and challenged him, when I turned to him after a horrific experience in a history program, and when my world was falling apart. To be sure,  he didn’t always explicitly quote this passage  (because sometimes words are trite, plus DO YALL KNOW ME. IF I DON’T WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING I WILL NOT), but he demonstrated through his compassion and actions a deep faith that even in the midst of turmoil, that God still holds everything together. God still holds us together. 

And while 18-year-old me would have scoffed at that belief as naïve, 34-year-old me can look back on my life and affirm a God that holds everything together, even when it feels as if everything is falling apart. And what do I mean when I affirm a God who holds everything together? Let me be clear, I do not mean, a God who will uphold the status quo, especially one that is harmful and oppressive.

 I do not mean that God is a genie, who grants us whatever we want. Nor am I talking about a God who essentially puts us in a plastic bubble to protect us from all harm. No, when I affirm a God who holds everything together, I mean a God who holds us together. A God who, even amid turmoil, devastation, and pain holds us and journeys with us.  God holds everything together-especially us, as we face unspeakable pain and suffering. Death and destruction wound us, but they do not destroy us.

Hopeton not only preached but embodied and affirmed that theology by his actions and way of living. Whenever my life was falling apart and I turned to him,  he provided wisdom, advice (which may or may not have been welcomed), and the affirmation that no matter what was going on in my life, God was holding me.

2. All Will Be Well

That sentiment was referred to multiple times at the memorial service. Again, this phrase perfectly encapsulates what I witnessed to be the lived theology of Hopeton Clennon.

To be honest, I can’t remember if I actually heard Hopeton say that to me but there’s a very good chance that even if he did say it to me, I may not have been listening. (Did I mention how much of an absolute menace I can be?) I do remember, however, in seminary reading Julian of Norwich and being moved deeply by her words. 

When I first encountered her words in seminary, I was going through it. Not in the same way of course. Julian Norwich utters those words while she is experiencing illness and is on the brink of death. My issues were less dramatic and much more emotional and psychological. I wasn't dying, but it felt like I was. 

Julian writes: “But Jesus, who in this vision informed me of all that is needed by me, answered with these words and said: “It was necessary that there should be sin; but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

Those words, then and now, gave me a sense of peace, that the suffering, the pain I was experiencing was not the end of the story. Too often, I think as a society we have trivialized the idea of of “all shall be well” and have turned it into a trite, positive saying, that if we only repeat hard enough, it will manifest itself. 

 But to me, this isn’t a case of “manifestation” or prosperity gospel. It is a simple truth: that in Christ things will be well. Now again, our understanding of “well” may be different from God’s. For instance, I think things will be well for me if I can pay off my six-figure student loans and perhaps be a multi-millionaire. I don’t think that’s in the cards for me, particularly knowing my career path is theology and nonprofit work

But all will be well, knowing that we are in the hands of a loving God. Sin, violence, and oppression will not have the last word. Even death, which comes for us all, does not have the last word. As we affirm a God who has defeated death. 

In a similar vein, Hopeton lived a life that affirmed the idea of a God who has the last word over death, violence, and injustice. Again, whenever I turned to him after things had gone catastrophically wrong, and I couldn’t see a way out, he assured me of a God whose love would guide me through.

3. What should I do?

Towards the end of the memorial service, Rev. Livingstone Thompson revealed that the day Hopeton died, he asked his wife, “What should I do?” Rev. Thompson pressed, that this is a question we should ponder ourselves as we grapple with the reality that Hopeton has gone to be in God’s presence. What do we do?

Honestly the question, “What should I do?” was one I frequently asked Hopeton that. It is very funny, there were moments where he would offer me advice and I would ignore it and be offended because I didn’t want it.

 But other times, I would specifically ask for advice and want a clear answer and he didn’t give it to me.  Particularly when it came to asking about a specific career path. (I think he did suggest a career path one day, but I shot it down anyway, so I don’t know what I was expecting?)

But Hopeton served as an example of how to live a life. It was repeated throughout the service: he was compassionate, he made everyone he encountered feel special, he gave you his full attention. Rev. Thompson referred to him as “a connector.” He connected other people with each other, yes, but most importantly he connected people to God. 

I’m not going to sit here and say that I am going to try and embody his joy, because let’s be honest, that is not who I am. My humor is mixed with cynicism and sarcasm. And I am not a social person. That’s not going to change. 

But what I can do is hold Hopeton’s love of God and compassion for others, as an example. Not exactly an example to emulate, because, well I can’t, but while I can’t love God and others in the same way Hopeton did, I can love God and others in my own way. I think that’s what I will miss about Hopeton the most. He never tried to change me nor did he have an image of who I should be, that he tried to mold me into. Instead, he encouraged me to love God and love others in my own unique way.  

His daughter Danielle put it this way, “One of my dad's greatest gifts was his ability to shine a light on the gifts of others and invite all to come as they are, with what they can, while he believed each and every one of us to be special.

"He didn't make us special. He just shone a light on what was already there. I think the lights of those he has met will continue to make the world a brighter place."

Image: Black starry sky as the background. Text: God holds everything together-especially us, as we face unspeakable pain and suffering. Death and destruction wound us, but they do not destroy us.