Faith, Fear, and Coronavirus
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people.” Luke 2:10 NRSV
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you. - Isaiah 41:10 MSG
Even when I am having a good day, I am seeking to control my anxiety. Little things that people don’t give a second thought to, can paralyze me: “why does that person look angry, did I offend them? I mispronounced a word again; they probably think I’m done. Etc.”
These past few days have not been good days. My anxiety is overwhelming. In addition to worrying about coronavirus and my many family members and friends who are immunocompromised or elderly, I am working on a final paper and obsessing over whether it will be good enough to let me graduate, I’m worried about my next steps after graduation, and to top it all off my brain decided it was a fantastic time replay all of my mistakes, failed relationships, failed jobs, from the past five years.
To put it bluntly, I am struggling to avoid having the type of panic attack where you ask yourself, “is it anxiety or a heart attack?” I am overwhelmed and I am scared. I’ve been doing DBT for the past few weeks so I know the importance of mindfulness and staying in the present to try and lessen my anxiety, but damn it, the present is pretty scary.
This morning, Kate Bowler addressed the topic of fear in her Instagram story. She talked about the angels who told the scared shepherds, “Do not be afraid.”
I’m sure we’ve all heard that phrase in the last few days, often in a condescending tone. “Why are you worried? Don’t be afraid! Coronavirus, is less dangerous than the flu! It Only kills sick and old people.” (I hate that last line: do immuno-compromised people and the elderly not matter? I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of loved ones who are elderly and/or immuno-compromised.)
People who say, “don’t be afraid” in a condescending tone might mean well, but it very rarely serves to calm anyone down. It comes across as patronizing and dismissive. But the phrase “do not be afraid” when uttered in a compassionate manner, can serve as a much-needed reminder of God’s presence.
In her Instagram story this morning Bowler points out, “…Do not be afraid…” that what’s people say when there’s something to be really scared about…We have a reason to be afraid but also to remember that God is there. So deep, centering breath today and to remember God is right there, even as he is yelling, ‘Do not be afraid.”
“Do not be afraid,” doesn’t mean, “stop feeling fear,” but it means, “don’t let the very valid fear that you have overwhelm you to the point where you forget that God is with you.” “Do not be afraid,” means, “things are very scary right now. You need to take the necessary precautions to be safe. But remember, you are loved and you do not go about this journey on your own.”
Now, what does it mean to say, “God is with us, even in the midst of all our fears?” Let me start by explaining what it DOESN’T mean: it doesn’t mean that if we believe the right things, if we do all the ‘right’ things such as pray, read the Bible, etc. that God will protect us from bad things happening. Despite what some people may say, God is not a magic lucky charm that will protect you and your loved ones from every and all harm.
Coronavirus, or bad things happening in general, is not the judgement of an angry God seeking to punish humanity for not following an arbitrary set of oppressive rules. Bad things will happen no matter how holy we think we are. Belief in God isn’t a protective shield.
Instead, saying “God is with us. God is with you. God is with me,” means just that. God is journeying with us as we attempt to navigate healthcare systems stretched to the max, indifferent governments, and situations that are out of our control.
It means that God suffers with us. God doesn’t have the attitude, “oh well, coronavirus only impacts certain populations, not a big deal.” No, God loves the very ones society is willing to discard as unimportant or dismiss as collateral damage.
God’s heart breaks at all of the suffering that envelopes the world. God not only mourns with those suffering and fearful about coronavirus but God’s heart breaks at every instance of suffering and injustice: poverty, war, abuse, etc.
God is with us, in the midst of a world where everything feels outside of our control. God is with us when we are discarded by society as unimportant or treated as burdens. God is with us. May we find some measure of peace in this knowledge.
