Leaving Evangelicalism for My Queer Christian Faith
If you had told 16 year old me that at 31 years old I would be openly and proudly Bi/Pansexual while also identifying as a Christian, I would have laughed in your face.
At 16 years old I believed the false narrative that in order to be Christian, I had to deny a key part of my identity. I grew up being told that in order to love Jesus and God, I needed to hate myself and deny myself the ability to love and be loved.
I had to make a choice: following God or being outwardly and openly queer. And I am ashamed to admit that the phrase, “God loves me too much to let me stay the way I am” was one I uttered to myself quite frequently as I tried to will myself into being straight.
Even after I left Evangelical Christianity, I still struggled with my identity as a Queer person and as a Christian. I thought, “well, if I can’t be Bi/Pan and Christian, I guess I need to get rid of my faith.” But the trouble was that, despite all of its major flaws and problems, my childhood faith had instilled in me a deep love for God and Jesus.
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