Mary, The One Who Grieves

Today is Good Friday, the day in which Christians reflect on the brutal death of Jesus. It is very tempting to want to minimize this day and go straight to the resurrection, but skipping over the death and hopelessness of Good Friday is a luxury that not everyone can afford.

 Take, for instance, the parents who lost their beloved child in one of the numerous school shootings that have occurred in the last ten years and who have to repeatedly be reminded of their loss as new shootings regularly occur and the US government insists on doing nothing.  

Or how about the parents and loved ones of Black and brown people murdered by law enforcement who have to contend with the reality that the ones that killed their beloved, more likely than not will go free. 

Or the thousands of Black and brown people unjustly imprisoned for minor crimes, false accusations, and corrupt prosecutors, who spend another Good Friday hoping and praying for freedom and justice.

 What about the families of hundreds of immigrants, waiting for news of their loved ones, not knowing they have perished seeking safety and security?   Not to mention the millions of people who languish in war zones that the so-called “developed” or “first” world has forgotten. 

And of course, let’s not skip over the millions of individual heartaches and suffering: the deaths of loved ones by disease, natural causes, or accidents. The millions are struggling to keep food on the table and feed their family.  The despair of trans and queer people as state governments seek to deny us the right to marry, care for our families, work, and just live. 

For too many people Good Friday is not just a day of reflection but a lived experience.  Nothing can be said or done to take away the pain of a loved one unjustly taken from us way too soon, or for the myriad of violence directed our way because of who we are. 

As we grapple with this day and with our experience of suffering, we can turn to Mary. Most of the reflections on Good Friday understandably focus on Jesus and his pain. After all, he was the one crucified. But while he was the major victim of the story of an unjust empire, he was not the only one. Jesus' friends and mother also experienced the brunt of the Roman Empire’s violence.

Mary lost her beloved child, the one that she was promised, the one that was prophesied to bring liberation to the world.  Mary understands the pain of those who watch their loved ones suffer as a result of violence and oppression.  When we feel alone in our suffering, when our family and friends have moved on or encouraged us to “get over our grief,” we can turn to Mary and remember that she grieves with us.

Image: Purplish pink sky, with an empty wooden cross. Text: For too many people Good Friday is not just a day of reflection but a lived experience.