When Our Plans Get Derailed...

Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph did everything right and met the expectations placed on him by the society of his day: he had a job to support a family and he undertook all the necessary familial, societal, and religious obligations needed to get engaged. He was doing exactly what was expected of him and therefore, surely, he would be blessed: he would have a wife and then in the future children. 

But then everything seems to fall apart: Mary is pregnant and he is definitely not the father. No 1st-century roman equivalent of Maury needed. Joseph was not the father, which meant that Mary had betrayed him. She hadn’t done what was expected of her, and now the societal and religious consequences could be drastic: admittedly, more so for Mary, rather than Joseph. 

Mary could face social ostracism and possible death and Joseph would face humiliation. And in a society based on patriarchy-humiliation and shame aren’t just about being embarrassed in front of others, but could have very real consequences on one’s livelihood. In addition, it could impact his ability to marry another person and have children-which were vitally important social markers in that day.

Joseph decides to once again do the right thing and dismiss Mary. He does so, quietly, perhaps hoping to provide Mary and her family with some time to figure out how to protect Mary’s life. I can only imagine the feelings of anger and betrayal Joseph must have felt at Mary, but perhaps also at God. Joseph did everything that was expected of him and he understandably, expected to receive what he was entitled to for following the rules:  marriage and a family. 

I don’t think many of us have to stretch our imaginations too hard to relate to Joseph.  We did what we were supposed to do: we went to the right colleges and universities, we studied the “correct” majors, we got the “right” jobs, but then something unexpected happened: the major we were supposed to study bored us, or we couldn’t get high enough grades to continue in that field, we lost the lucrative job, we had an unexpected pregnancy, or illness, or death.   The future we had planned out perfectly, fell apart. 

And like Joseph we may be mad at ourselves, at others, and at God. We did everything right and yet nothing is going as expected. But this story asks us to keep in mind that God’s dreams and desires for us, don’t necessarily align with societal expectations. 

Too often, Christians, especially those of us with some form of privilege, believe tie God’s presence and blessings with material wealth and success. If we are materially wealthy, we attribute said success to our hard work and good decisions, and God’s blessings and we often downplay the various forms of luck and privilege that play into our success. 

And conversely, a lack of success is blamed on individual bad decision-making and mistakes.  But the idea of doing the right thing and meeting with success is a lie.  Our society is structured in a way to ensure that the majority of people struggle to survive.

In addition, God’s definition of success isn’t the same as ours. God’s presence isn't tied to material wealth, In fact, I would argue that wealth and material success can in fact act as barriers, cutting people off from God. Not because God hates wealthy people, but because wealth built off of exploitation and injustice is a rejection of God. God subverts our expectations: while we worship the wealthy God calls them into account for how they gained their wealth and what they do with it. 

 This should not be surprising. In the gospels, Jesus and God often subvert societal norms and expectations. And the point of Matthew 1:18-25, isn’t to force us to ask, “wait did God literally impregnate Mary? How is that possible? How can I prove this happened?” 

Instead, the point of the story is to demonstrate that Jesus, the Messiah, is going to subvert societal and religious expectations. He is going to challenge the empire and religious norms of his day, and he is going to ask us to follow him and do the same.  From the very beginning, Jesus is going to push back against societal norms. 

Joseph had worked hard to meet his society’s expectations only for God to sweep in and say, “sorry, but I have bigger plans for your family.” God doesn’t care about whether or not we meet society’s definition of success, in fact, chances are if we take following Jesus seriously, we often won’t be successful in society’s eyes.  

We often think that if we follow Jesus if we put God first then God promises to give us societal success. This narrative is propagated by televangelists and celebrities who claim that they became famous and wealthy by putting God first.

 But God doesn’t promise us riches and fame. God doesn’t even promise us middle-class respectability. God promises to be with us as God calls us to reject societal definitions of success. God promises to equip us, even as God calls us to do the hard work of standing up to a world that views material success and property as more important than the lives of the poor and the marginalized.

Image: Woman praying. Text: God doesn’t promise us riches and fame. God doesn’t even promise us middle-class respectability. God promises to be with us as God calls us to reject societal definitions of success.